Just checked a few of those from that week. Clicked a few older ones to compare. And in my opinion, I think you might be wasting your time refining the lines. I think the average viewer wouldn't even notice unless their're told and really look for it.
In fact in some cases, rougher lines may be better as a style choice.
Kinda like comparing early Dragonball Super with the older DBZ. In the earliest seasons of super, you really noticed they've switched to drawing digitally, and all of a sudden, the linework looked squeeky clean.
And it actually kinda bothered me how slick the linework looked. Cause I was used to all of the rough lines the character had, when all of those blonde space-asians were beating the crap out of eachother.
guyfromKillerRAT
Never really played Hotline Miami, but that's the only one I can really judge at all cause I'm at least familiar with the design and artwork.
You did good man, looks exactly how I think of that game to look.